Found It!

A couple of months ago I got new tires for one of my cars. I was heading out with the family on a road trip. I wanted to track the wear on the tires so I grabbed my metal machinist's ruler. Other than my calipers (and a four-foot drywall t-square), it's the only measuring device I have that can measure to "the bottom" or an inside edge of something. That is, the end of the ruler is where the measuring starts.

I recorded the tread depth and placed the ruler on the end table by the front door. As I said we were on our way out.

I'm married with children. I love my wife, I really do. There's a song by Sixx A.M. with the line, "and I'm losing my mind 'cause she hides all my shit". I always think of her when I hear that. She doesn't hide my things per se, she just moves them. For some reason she just doesn't like where I leave things.

When I set the ruler on the end table I knew I had better put it away when I got back or she would find it and move it. Sure enough I delayed and it was moved. I saw it later on the kitchen table. (We don't have a kitchen table, but that's what she calls it, don't get me started on that.) I thought, "hey I better put that away or it will disappear." Still no action from lazy me. I didn't do anything and it disappeared.

Neither my wife nor kids had seen it or remembered putting it anywhere. For months I cursed her name (whatever that means) as I used a six-sided architect's scale to try to measure "from the bottom" of stuff. I thought about buying a new one but I couldn't shake off the lazy.

Yesterday I was looking for the blades for the power knife. I didn't find them in the first two places I looked. My wife thought they should be in the utensil drawer as did I so I really went to town digging for them. I lifted the silverware tray out of the drawer and much to my surprise, there was my metal ruler UNDER the silverware tray in the utensil drawer.

So let that be a lesson to you, married men. Don't leave your toys out if you want to keep playing with them.